Conrad Doucette on Getting Advice on Becoming a First Time Parent

In Chapter 2 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "How Did You Go About Seeking Advice as You Prepared for Parenthood?" Doucette shares his approach getting parenting insight from friends before becoming a first-time dad. This includes both observing friends' behaviors as well as asking questions and learning there is no "dumb question."

Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan.

Conrad Doucette on Aspiring to Be the Best Father Possible

In Chapter 3 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "To What Do You Aspire as a Father?" As the father of a 5-month old boy, Doucette shares how he aspires to employe every resource possible to be the best father he can be.

Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan. 

Conrad Doucette on How Becoming a Dad Changes You

In Chapter 4 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "How Has Becoming a Father Put Your Life in a New Perspective?" Doucette finds his life change immediately and in big ways and he embraces it fully. Having a child opens doors to a deeper level of love than he has ever experienced. He finds his experiences serve as a reference library to help him be a better dad and husband.

Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan. 

Conrad Doucette on 3 Things to Know Before Becoming a Dad

In Chapter 5 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "What Are Three Things You Wish You Knew Before Becoming a Dad?" Doucette shares what he learned in the first weeks of fatherhood and gives advice to expecting dads. First, he learns not to be so worried in the first few days after the baby comes home. Second he learns that a baby and its belongings take up a lot more space than you would think. Third he learns how much he loves being a dad and how it has made him kinder and more present in his life.

Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan. 

Conrad Doucette on Starting a Family in a Dual Income Household

In Chapter 6 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "What Have Been Your Challenges Starting a Family in a Dual-Income Household?" Doucette shares how he and his partner learn to be more open-minded thinking about life away from work after having a baby. He notes it is no small adjustment but one new parents need to make given their new responsibilities. Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan. 

Conrad Doucette on How Starting a Family Affects Music Career

In Chapter 7 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "When Does Playing Music Fit Into Your Career Now That You're a Father?" Doucette shares how starting a family and becoming a father has shifted short-term career goals from playing music to finding work to support the family. Long-term, Doucette notes how he still aspires to work as a professional musician and keep it a key part of his life.

Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan. 

Conrad Doucette on Giving Better Advice When Asked for Help

In Chapter 17 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, musician and digital strategist Conrad Doucette answers "How Have You Learned to Give Better Advice When People Ask You For Help?" Doucette puts himself in the shoes of the person asking for advice. In his younger years he would have dispensed advice based on his point of view rather than the perspective of the person asking for advice.

Conrad Doucette is a Brooklyn musician and the drummer for the band Takka Takka. He has performed with Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, The National, Alina Simone, and many other leading acts. When not performing music, Doucette is the communications and brand director at music licensing and publishing startup Jingle Punks. Doucette earned a BA in History from the University of Michigan. 

Simon Sinek on Why to Live a More Generous and Sincere Life

In Chapter 1 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Are Your Aspirations Changing As Your Experience Grows?" Sinek notes how early in his career his aspirations were about personal achievements and goals. With experience, Sinek shifts his focus to helping others grow and learn. He details why generosity and sincerity have been central elements in the transition and provides examples of why others should consider embracing them.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: How are your aspirations changing as your experience grows?

Simon Sinek: Earlier in my career, my aspirations had to do with me. What can I achieve? What can I do? How much money can I make? That kind of thing. My aspirations have really changed into what can I do for other? How can I help people around me grow, and learn, and do more, and achieve more? And so, my aspirations have a lot less to do with me these days, which not unsurprisingly has been the greatest asset in my own career. It is not unusual to expect that when you give to others that others look after you. The reason to give to others is not so that they will look after you, it is an unintended by-product. There has to be sincerity in the giving, otherwise, it’s not sincere, is it? I mean taking someone out there for a round of golf because you wanna win their business is not sincerely wanting to build the relationship, and it’s just a protracted transaction. The only reason you’re taking them for golf or dinner is because you want something from them. It’s not actually relationship building. Relationship building is I’m taking you out for dinner because I actually wanna get to know you, and whether we do business or not together is irrelevant, that it has to be sincere.

Erik Michielsen: And how has that shown itself, in the actions that you’ve taken, the projects that you’ve taken on?

Simon Sinek: Well, two ways, I would say. The first way is when I have a meeting. I don’t come into a meeting wanting something from the person in the meeting. I will answer every question. We’ll have every discussion. I’m happy to give my ideas away. Someone told me a long time ago that people who are protective of their idea only have one idea. Well, I have a lot of other ideas. And not to mention the fact that when you’re an idea generator, and somebody’s not an idea generator, and they wanna steal your ideas, they have value in you because (chuckles) you can generate ideas. They see value in you. So I tend to not want anything from anybody when I come into a meeting. And it never occurred to me that I was doing that until somebody said, “Why are you so generous in your meetings?” And I was like, “I’m just answering all your questions.” And never would say, “Well, it’s gonna cost you,” or “Well, we’ll have to do a consulting engagement,” or hold anything back with the hope of. That’s one big thing. The other big thing is who I choose to work with. I wanna work with people who have similar values as I do, and so I’ve become more discerning as to who I work with, that people are devoted to other people. Those are the people I wanna work with. And people would sort of scoff at me and say, “Oh well, yeah, you can afford to do that now.” I’ve been doing this my whole life. When I was living paycheck to paycheck, I still did this, which hurt, but, for me, it was worth it, because “Do I wanna make money working with somebody I don’t wanna work with?”, which is then taking time away from finding somebody who I do wanna work with, and so it might have taken longer for me to sort of get the financial stability that I needed, but I certainly don’t regret it.

Erik Michielsen: I distinctly remember you talking about this back in 2003 with some of those old clients from your old company—.

Simon Sinek: Yeah. It was so hard, and I had a business partner back then who used to get very mad at me, like, “Why are we turning away business? We need the business.” And it’s because our values didn’t align. There’s an old Zen Buddhist saying which I love, which is, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” And so, when somebody treats you like dirt or like browbeats you to get a contract? Well, guess what’s gonna be like once you have the contract. So I pay great attention to sort of the courtship, and if the courtship is stressful, I don’t want any part of it, because that’s what the relationship will be like. It’s an indicator of what you’re gonna expect and it always is. Nobody ever says, “Well, I’m just like this now, and then I’ll be nice.” Like, “I’m only abusive while we’re dating, but once we get married, don’t worry, it’s gonna go away.” It doesn’t work that way.

Simon Sinek on How to Establish Trust When Building Relationships

In Chapter 4 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Do You Establish Trust When Building Relationships?" To Sinek, trust is a result of something and cannot be given nor formed overnight. He notes the difference between lust and love and why the vulnerability associated with falling with love is synonymous with the vulnerability that comes with the emergence of relationship trust. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: How do you establish trust when building relationships?

Simon Sinek: Trust is the result of something. You can’t tell people “trust me”. Trust cannot be formed overnight, just as you can’t go to one date and decide if you wanna marry someone. You might have lust, but there’s no real trust. The best definition of love I ever heard is that you can give someone the power to destroy you and trust that they won’t use it, and that’s kind of what trust is, is this deep love.

And it comes over time, and it comes from taking lots of little risks, exposing yourself to more danger, making yourself feel more vulnerable, sharing something personal, putting yourself in a position where you have to turn your back and hope somebody won’t stab you or steal your stuff. I mean this is what trust is. It is the result of you making someone feel safe and then making you feel safe, and it’s that dance, and that’s what it is. It can’t be one-sided.

And, again, it’s like dating. It’s like getting to know someone. It’s like making friends that does not happen overnight. And it’s a dance of give and take, give and take, give and take, give and take, and when you feel that that person will make you feel safe, trust will emerge. It’s not an app. It’s not a switch. It’s not something you turn on. It’s something that evolves. You start to feel it, and then, one morning, you wake up, you’re like, “Oh my god, I totally trust that person.” You’re not sure exactly what happened to get you there, but you found yourself there.

Simon Sinek on How to Give Better Advice When Asked for Help

In Chapter 11 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Have You Learned to Give Better Advice When People Ask You for Help?" Sinek shares how experience has taught him to shift his approach from giving advice based on what questions he hears to instead asking more questions to get at what is not being asked. This allows Sinek to get at the root of the question being asked and be more helpful. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on Training Your Mind to Perform Under Pressure

In Chapter 14 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Does It Mean to Perform Under Pressure in the Work That You Do?" Sinek notes how performing under pressure is the same for him as it is for anyone else - meeting deadlines, hitting financial goals, etc. Olympic athletes teach him how it is possible to interpret stimuli that pressure brings as excitement and not nervousness. This positive interpretation of pressure helps Sinek embrace the moment as a public speaker and be at his best on stage. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on How Accountability Partners Keep You Committed

In Chapter 17 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Role Have Accountability Partners Played in Helping You to Meet Deadlines and Goals?" Sinek shares that as social animals we feel greater responsibility toward each other than to ourselves. As a result, Sinek notes when someone besides us is invested in the outcome, we do our best not to disappoint. He shares how this concept of accountability partners functions in the context of having a workout buddy as well as in the context of the writer-publisher relationship. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on How to Fight Loneliness When Working Alone

In Chapter 21 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Do You Fight Loneliness When You Spend Large Spans of Time Working Alone?" Sinek recognizes working alone can be difficult and remedies this first by asking someone to be with him while he works. He finds this "babysitter" helps him focus and get things done. When he is alone, he tries to fight stress by staying connected with friends and making it a point to openly share his feelings. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on Making Emotional Connections With Those You Love

In Chapter 22 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Skills Are You Working on Right Now to Get Better at Your Job?" After years building strong communication skills in his work, Sinek turns his attention to improving these same skills in his personal life. From being a better listener to improving emotional engagement, Sinek shares how he is trying to make stronger relationship connections and exercise empathy with those he loves. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on Turning 40 and Remaining a Kid at Heart

In Chapter 23 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What is on Your Mind As You Turn 40 This Year?" Sinek shares that going into his 40th year he does not feel his age. Living with youthful exuberance, Sinek embraces a life of curiosity and wonder. He wonders if and how his fortieth birthday will change his approach to life. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Idan Cohen on How Getting Married Changes Your Personal Priorities

In Chapter 1 of 13 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, technology entrepreneur Idan Cohen answers "How Are Your Personal Priorities Changing As You Get Older?" Cohen shares how getting married has intensified things in his life for the better. His priorities change as he thinks less about personal accomplishments and more about what he can do for his family.

Idan Cohen is a technology entrepreneur and product management leader at Samsung Electronics. He co-founded Boxee, which was acquired by Samsung in early 2013. 

Transcript: 

Erik Michielsen: How are your personal priorities changing as you get older?

Idan Cohen: So I-- I mean, I got married this year.

Erik Michielsen: Congratulations.

Idan Cohen: Thank you. I always knew I would be with someone, that I had my own reasons why people should not be in a marriage, I guess, or, you know, should just be a partnership. But I think it's actually-- for us, it turned out to be a wonderful thing. It kind of intensified everything for the better. And I think that that's-- that's kind of how my priorities changed. It's just now thinking not only on personal accomplishments but more of accomplishing things as a family unit, later on, kind of can't wait to, you know, take part in educating kids and I spend a lot of time thinking about how do we want to shape that part of our life and how do we want to live our lives with kids and how should that look like and where will it be and what are going to be kind of the forming experiences for them? I think that's the main thing that's been changing. I kind of spend a lot of time on that.

Erik Michielsen: Did you make time to sit down and talk about that, or did that just come naturally in conversation?

Idan Cohen: It comes naturally over time. And it's interesting. I think in a way, I mean, we're a little older. Well, for New York, maybe not that old, but definitely when you look around at our sort of families and friends, you know, a lot of them already are in-- where we are. But it's actually a great thing and also, both of us are the youngest in-- I mean, in large families, relatively large. So just gives us a lot of examples to learn from, to analyze. So we do spend a lot of time on that.

Idan Cohen on What Gets Easier and What Gets Harder

In Chapter 2 of 13 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, technology entrepreneur Idan Cohen answers "What is Getting Easier and What is Getting Harder in Your Life?" Cohen shares how it is easier to figure out his priorities, especially now that he is married and settling down. It finds having a life companion gives him a greater purpose to how he wants to live his life. He finds it harder to combine multiple parts of his life to achieve life goals and figure out what he plans to accomplish in the coming decades.

Idan Cohen is a technology entrepreneur and product management leader at Samsung Electronics. He co-founded Boxee, which was acquired by Samsung in early 2013. 

Transcript: 

Erik Michielsen: What is getting easier and what is getting harder in your life?

Idan Cohen: What's getting a little easier for me is figuring out my priorities. So I think that, like, suddenly being married and thinking of a family and in some way like, settling down a little bit, then it gives me a better understanding of kind of my priorities in terms of-- it's not only personal goals. Like, it's not only self-fulfillment. Suddenly there is a bigger picture in this. I think Christina is a huge difference. That kind of dedicates a new priority and time that I want to spend with her and the time that I want to think of what we'll-- like, our lives are going to look like together, not necessarily each one in his own path. But it's also getting harder to figure out how do you combine all of these things and then still kind of achieving, you know, those life goals that you want and figuring out what you're going to do in the next 20, 30, 40 years. 

Idan Cohen on Making Decisions and Moving On With Your Life

In Chapter 3 of 13 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, technology entrepreneur Idan Cohen answers "What Role Has Reflection Played in Shaping Your Personal Growth?" Cohen shares how he does not find reflection useful. He prefers to think about the present decision he needs to make and use patience and deliberation to ensure he chooses the best path forward possible. Idan Cohen is a technology entrepreneur and product management leader at Samsung Electronics. He co-founded Boxee, which was acquired by Samsung in early 2013. 

Transcript: 

Erik Michielsen: What role has reflection played in shaping your personal growth?

Idan Cohen: I obviously spend time thinking about things, but I don't think too much about, like, just the path that I take. You know, you can plan that so many things, but eventually they just have a habit of happening-- not always the way you want it. So in a way, why plan that much? So in a way, why reflect that much?

Erik Michielsen: Have you always been that way?

Idan Cohen: Yeah. Yeah. So it troubles me, you know, and, yeah, I definitely do reflect, but I just don't do anything with that. It doesn't really affect my decisions most of the time. 

Erik Michielsen: Tell me more about that.

Idan Cohen: I know that I am a very bad decision maker when it comes to my own life. Like, it's just hard for me to make decisions even on a day-to-day. I contemplate on everything quite a lot. It can drive other people a little crazy sometimes, and it can drive me crazy sometimes. But having said that, I just-- whenever there's something that I need to choose, I tend to just linger with the decision, and eventually, the decision kind of happens on its own. And it's usually-- it was always for the best. So I'm not-- I don't stress about it. I stress about making the decision. I don't stress about what the outcome is.