Simon Sinek on When to Risk Something You Cannot Afford to Lose

In Chapter 16 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares why risk sharing is so important to a successful partnership. First, Simon differentiates between a vendor and a partner. He then notes a partnership - whether it be a personal relationship, a marriage, or a business relationship - requires risk. He offers that if you are starting something new, to do so in a way where all partners invest in something they cannot afford to lose, whether it be time, energy, financial, or beliefs. The more people willing to share in that risk allows for greater potential in the endeavor. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: Why is risk-sharing so important to a successful partnership?

Simon Sinek: People who don’t put skin in the game, aren’t taking risks. Um, you know, when somebody, refuses to put skin in the game but wants a reward, that’s not a partnership, that’s a vendor. You know, somebody who says, “We want to be your partner, now pay us,” that’s fine; that’s a vendor relationship, that’s not a partnership. Partnerships require shared risk; that is what a partnership means. And that could be a personal relationship, a marriage or, more importantly, a business relationship. Business relationships require risk. 

It’s one of the old, you know, small business maxims, which is “never go into business with a millionaire” because the reason is, cause they’re not hungry, you know? You want to go into business with somebody who if they don’t work hard, it’s all over. And that’s not to say you shouldn’t accept money from millionaires, that’s fine, but risk –it’s the investing proverb, which is never invest more money than you can afford to lose, but if you’re gonna start something entirely new, you want everybody to invest in something that they can’t afford to lose. 

You gotta make this work, whether it’s financial, or time, or energy, or belief, or the problem you’re trying to solve … “We have to solve this problem, otherwise bad things happen,” or, we can make the world a better place.” I think, you know, and the more people who are willing to share in that risk, the results can only be good. If only one person is only  is willing to take a risk, then the other people will leave him high and dry. There’s no reason to go the extra mile, right?

Simon Sinek on Why Greatness Starts and Ends With Passion

In Chapter 13 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares what performing artists have taught him about preparation, process, and passion. Sinek finds passion matters on the bookends. It starts things. It is the process, or preparation, where people differentiate, develop, and ascend as individuals and as work - or art - creators. This process is where individuals accept and embrace technical capacity and open themselves to failure and the willingness to learn from and iterate upon it. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: What has your passion for the performing arts taught you about the power of preparation?

Simon Sinek: There is something magical about somebody, an artist, who is willing to put himself out there, to share with am audience, to share with the world, something that they have created. And there is the very high possibility of failure, that it won’t be good. And if any component doesn’t work it can affect the thing as a whole. Um, preparation is interesting. I’m a great believer in process, to a degree. 

Which is – you have to be good at what you’re doing, and you have to understand your own discipline and have a technical grounding, but that’s not where it ends. I think where passion matters is on the bookends. You know, people start things because they’re passionate, you know? “I was passionate about this so I decided to start my own business,” or, “I was passionate about this so I started to take classes.” Passion’s what gets things started. 

And then it’s that process, it’s that preparation that you become understanding of, where it becomes intellectualized, that thing that you like, and that’s where I think most people fall down. “Oh my goodness there’s a lot of work here,” you know? So that usually ends that “passion” pretty quickly, or they get stuck in there, where it becomes only learning and only thinking. And really, there’s a point at which you have to say, “okay, you know what? I know how to do this; I’m good at this. I have to trust that I’m good at this, I have to trust the training and now I’m gonna go back to that passion again.” 

And those are the few who are able to truly catapult themselves, or their work, to this new level where we say it’s great, not just good. Because they’ve allowed themselves to now accept the technical capacity and leave themselves open to the potential for making mistakes again. Children have passion and they’re beautiful to watch, and they make a total mess. And these few here, they kind of have a childish way about them, they kind of act like children in some way, where it’s a little bit reckless abandon but for the fact that they have training and grounding and preparation. And I think those – that’s a beautiful thing to pursue. It’s a hard thing to do, because now that you’re technically based and you have an understanding, are you willing to fail? Yes here, because you don’t know anything [taps table] and yes here if you can be great.

Simon Sinek on How Civilian Finds Fulfillment Working For Military

In Chapter 11 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares how he has found lasting fulfillment working with the United States government and military. Interfacing with committed individuals dedicated to defending, protecting, and serving the country offers Sinek a personal impression that changes his life. He recounts a story engaging a wounded warrior at Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany and offering a "Token of Inspiration". Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: What do you find most fulfilling about working with military and government to serve your country?

Simon Sinek: Look, these are people who show up to work, and who decided to do that for a living, decided to do that with their lives, not to get rich. When I get to speak to, or work with the military, or those in government, not a single person there showed up to get rich. None of them, zero. Whether they become disillusioned or not within their careers is a different story, but they showed up with a desire to serve their country. And to be able to give them anything that helps them be better at their jobs, that helps them be better at protecting the country or helping develop better healthcare, it doesn’t matter, is perhaps the most fulfilling work I do. If all I did was get to work with government and military for the rest of my life I would be extremely happy. It’s an amazing feeling to do something that matters. 

Erik Michielsen: When was the first time you felt that way?

Simon Sinek: The first time I felt that way … I got to go to the Pentagon for the first time a few years ago. And just walking the halls, you’re pretty struck by it, you know? And I think D.C. as a town does that as well, but they also deal in power. But when you go, when you walk the halls of the Pentagon and you all these people walking around in various uniforms who have committed their lives to a life of service, it’s pretty humbling, it’s pretty humbling. 

Erik Michielsen: Last year, you had a chance to speak to a large group in Germany. Tell me more about that.

Simon Sinek: Last year, I got to visit Ramstein Air Force base, Spangdahlem Air Force base and Aviano Air Force base in Italy. And over the course of my week with them, I spoke to thousands of troops. One room alone was close to a thousand. It was amazing. But perhaps the most powerful and moving experience I had was at Ramstein. One of the things that Ramstein serves as is the sort of stopping point to the Middle East. Most of the troops and material going to Afghanistan or Iraq or coming back go through Ramstein. 

So it’s a pretty busy, big base.  And one of the missions is to return home the wounded warriors who are brought to Germany for treatment in the hospitals there, and when they can come home they will bring those wounded warriors home. And part of my tour was to go through the facility where they – sort of the weigh station as they sort of were taken out to the plane – and so we were taken around there and shown the facility. And then we went out onto the flight line where we saw a C17, which is a big Air Force cargo plane configured to bring wounded warriors home. You know they had bunks and they had medical equipment in there, and they loaded up say about 15 to 20 wounded warriors – some who were ambulatory and some were carried on stretchers. 

My job was to stand there and observe, that was my job. And I couldn’t, it was incredibly powerful, and I stepped forward without asking permission and went to each one of them and said the exact same thing. I said, “I’m visiting from back home, I’m a civilian, and I just want to say thank you for what you do for us.” And I paid them a token of inspiration, which are these tokens I carry with me. And I paid each of them and I said the exact same thing to each of them: “My name is Simon, I’m a civilian from back home and I just want to say thank you to you guys for what you do for us” and I pay them a token. 

And there was this one young guy who was lying on a stretcher, who was under a blanket strapped in. He had a tube hanging out of every orifice, oxygen over his mouth, and I turned to him and he sort of looked over to me from his stretcher, and I said the same thing, “My name is Simon, I’m a civilian, I’m from back home and I just wanted to pay you this token of inspiration to say thank you to you for what you do for us.” And I held up the token and I said, “I’ll give it to somebody else to hold for you for when you get back home.” Because clearly he was under this blanket in this stretcher all strapped in, and a hand came out of the side of this blanket, right? And I put the token in his hand, right? And he grips it tight, right? And puts his hand back in the blanket. And we never spoke a word, and of course I was, you know, bawling. 

And I learned something that day, I mean, that day changed me.  You know? I don’t have much of a right to complain about my bad days, you know? And even when I was there that week, I remember the jet lag hit me very hard and I’d be falling asleep at dinners and they kept asking me to do more and more and more stuff. And the old me would have said, “you know I’m gonna decline I have to take a rest.” And, I said yes to absolutely everything and pushed my way through all of it. And you know, you meet these young men and women who are willing to put themselves in harm’s way for no other reason than they believe in something bigger than themselves, and you get to meet them. It’s, uh, it changes you. It changes you.

Simon Sinek on Why to Wait Before Making an Emotional Decision

In Chapter 6 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares how he manages his emotions when making decisions. In short, Sinek takes a pause to temper a potential emotional reaction. He finds asking "what good will come of this?" helps him understand where and when to respond. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: Where do you find balance between being overly emotional and removing emotion entirely when making a decision?

Simon Sinek: We all make decisions based on an emotional reaction, not necessarily using the emotion of our gut, you know? It’s sort of the naughty step, as Nanny Jo, Super Nanny Jo Fraust, you know, developed, I think has great value to us as adults as well, to just to sort of take a break and cool off, you know, when somebody sends you a rude email, don’t reply back immediately. Wait, and 99 times out of 100 you’ll go back and read it later, you’ll be like “yeah, whatever.” But, you won’t get all flustered. Or write the response but don’t hit send, you know, if you want to have the venting, you know, don’t hit send and maybe come back to it later. 

And I’m a great believer in tempering that emotional reaction.  I play a little game with myself – which is, before I make a decision, I ask myself um, “what good will come of this?” because I only want to make decisions where good will come of my decisions, right? And so you realize so often – I got an email once from somebody who, who wanted something from me, and I’d been trying to reach out to them for months for a small favor and I got nothing, I got a cold shoulder, and now all of a sudden, “wishing you well, I heard you had a book come out, congratulations… oh and by the way.” You know? 

And so of course, how do I reply? You know, I could be like “how dare you?” You know? So I ask myself, “What good will come of this?” And the answer was, if I send something mean, what good will come of that? Nothing, I’ll just inflame something. If I send something nice, what good will come of it? Nothing there either, because it’s artificial, you know, I’m not being genuine. And so I ended up sending nothing at all. I couldn’t make a decision; I couldn’t do something where something good will happen, so I did nothing. So I – with as many decisions as I can I ask myself “what good will come of this?” before I make the decision, because if my decisions can’t make good, then I shouldn’t make them at all.

Simon Sinek on How Finding Purpose Increases Sense of Fulfillment

In Chapter 3 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek loses his passion and rebounds by understanding his why, his purpose. Sinek references "Man's Search for Meaning" author Viktor Frankl and the three means Frankl identified to find purpose: through a loving relationship, service, and suffering. Sinek came to understand his own why through suffering and reinvention of self. By clarifying his why, Sinek better understands what actions to take to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: How has better understanding your "why" put you in a more impactful position to change the world?

Simon Sinek: Well, I mean, I'm a guinea pig, you know? When I discovered this thing called "The Why" it came at a time in my life when I had lost my passion for what I was doing. And it wasn't because I saw a market opportunity, or it was an academic exercise, it came out of a time of need. Victor Frankle, the guy who wrote "Man's Search for Meaning". He said that you can find your purpose one of three ways: Through a close, loving relationship; through service; or through suffering. And for better or for worse, mine came through suffering. I wouldn't go through what I went through again, I have no desire to go through what I went through, but I'm glad that it happened. And I literally stopped talking about what I do and started talking about what I believed in the world that I imagined.

You know, there are over 90 percent of people who go home at the end of the day not feeling fulfilled by the work that they do. And this is the point I was in in my own life. Everything superficial looked good but I didn't - I didn't care - I didn't love what I did I just, I went through the motions. And I am now working towards a world in which that statistic is reversed. I imagine a world in which over 90 percent of the population is fulfilled by what they do, that 90 percent of the population goes home at the end of the day and says, "I love my job; I love my work." And for me, that kind of focus is itself fulfilling. To be able to contribute and help build that world, and to see it build. So, understanding my own "why" has absolutely contributed to my own sense of fulfillment. 

Why Define Success by the Relationships You Create - Alan McNab

In Chapter 17 of 17 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, customer advocacy marketing executive Alan McNab defines and measures success based on the relationships he has created. McNab reflects on the experiences and overall history that constitute his story. Through ups and downs over more than a decade McNab learns to value relationships as commitments and experience strengthen the bonds over time. McNab holds a BSEE in Electrical Engineering from Santa Clara University and an MBA from Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland. He has worked in various technology marketing roles at Hewlett-Packard, Cisco, Motorola, and is now Vice President, Customer Advocacy at NCR based in Dublin.

How Sales Skills Apply in Executive Coaching Career - Garren Katz

In Chapter 13 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares how his sales skills apply in his executive and life coaching practices. Katz notes the fundamental need to establish trust and its applicability across both professions. He highlights early career examples selling roofing and establishing trust in relationships to help customers make big financial decisions. Katz is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

What Motivates Decision to Choose Coaching Over Therapist Career - Garren Katz

In Chapter 12 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares why he chose coaching over returning to school to earn a grad school psychology degree and become a therapist. Katz enjoys working with others on identifying and addressing what is missing versus what is wrong. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How Curiosity Benefits Relationship Building - Garren Katz

In Chapter 11 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares how his curiosity and listening skills help him advice others on career and life. Constant curiosity helps Garren uncover answers his clients already know but are too often unable or unwilling to address and engage. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How to Help Others Be More Emotionally Expressive - Garren Katz

In Chapter 10 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares how he applies his emotional experiences to help others be more expressive. Being inquisitive, curious, and focused helps Katz create emotional connections with clients, friends, and family. Once he establishes comfort, Katz then can advise on issues of emotion. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

What Defines Sound Advice - Garren Katz

In Chapter 9 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz defines sound advice as a guess. He compares proving sound advice to logical guessing, i.e. planning. Uncertainty rules. To counter uncertain outcomes, Katz focuses on the process, investing emotionally in the experience with another to provide as relevant as possible given the circumstance. Katz is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

Why is Making an Emotional Connection So Hard - Garren Katz

In Chapter 8 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz provides his take on why people struggle to connect emotionally with others. Hugging and outward expression often are not rewarded in society and as a result can be scary to undertake. Additionally, Katz notes how people struggle to connect with their own emotions. This, in turn, affects how they can or cannot connect with others. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How International Travel is Life Changing - Garren Katz

In Chapter 7 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares how traveling internationally has taught him the value of different perspectives. Learning to "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" has taught him new ways to look at life. He encourages others to overcome fear of acting on booking the experience, noting rarely are things as scary or daunting as they seem. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How Experiential Learning Shapes Ambition - Garren Katz

In Chapter 6 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz explains how learning by doing - or self-directed learning - has become his preferred style. While the experiential investment is a greater time commitment, Katz finds the increased understanding provides a benefit that far outweighs the cost. Katz is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How Sincere Actions Establish Trusting Relationships - Garren Katz

In Chapter 5 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares how actions and caring establish trusted relationships. He understands people can tell when you are sincere and when you are not. He places a priority on caring - emotional, intuitive, and intellectual - when building relationships. That care establishes the true trust. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How Supporting a Friend Fighting Cancer Changes Life Priorities - Garren Katz

In Chapter 4 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz rethinks his priorities after supporting a friend through a difficult battle with cancer. Katz shares how his friend's approach through battling cancer three times before the age of 35 teaches him to always put friends, family, and loved ones first and making sure to maximize the experience, time, and attention they receive each day. Katz is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

What Motivates Pursuit of Freedom Over Security in Life - Garren Katz

In Chapter 3 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz answers what motivates him to pursue freedom over security in his life pursuit. Garren questions security - asking if it is only a perception rather than a reality. Katz believes security is a mindset that can be created in different environments. He cautions how security can be restrictive and can be overcome by considering diversification as a life approach. Garren is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .

How Mindfulness Helps Define Quality of Life - Garren Katz

In Chapter 2 of 13 in his 2010 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, executive and private life coach Garren Katz shares his views on what defines quality of life. Katz prioritizes freedom, joy, happiness, and pleasure over accolade, reward and title. He also finds in-the-moment decision making a valuable approach, including deciding on a whim to run the New York City Marathon with a three-time cancer survivor. Katz is a graduate of Western Michigan University and coaches clients on areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and personal finances. Learn more about Garren at http://about.me/garrenkatz .