Andrew Epstein on How Personal Priorities Change With Age

In Chapter 21 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, charter school CFO Andrew Epstein answers "How Are Your Personal Priorities Changing as You Get Older?"  Happy to be living in Brooklyn, New York, Epstein does note how getting older focuses his time more on family, work, and scaling back how often he goes out with friends to see live music. 

Andrew Epstein is CFO of the Ascend Learning Charter School Network.  Previously, Epstein was a finance executive at Democracy Prep Public Schools and an operations executive at Universal Music Group's Island Def Jam Records.  He is a former Teach for America corps member and middle-school science teacher.  He holds a BA from the University of Michigan and an MBA from Columbia Business School.

Andrew Epstein on Using Your Passions to Be a Better Dad

In Chapter 22 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, charter school CFO Andrew Epstein answers "How Are You Learning to Apply Your Passions in New Ways?"  As an expecting father planning for parenthood, Epstein looks forward to applying his passion for helping feel successful and good about life in his role as a new Dad. 

Andrew Epstein is CFO of the Ascend Learning Charter School Network.  Previously, Epstein was a finance executive at Democracy Prep Public Schools and an operations executive at Universal Music Group's Island Def Jam Records.  He is a former Teach for America corps member and middle-school science teacher.  He holds a BA from the University of Michigan and an MBA from Columbia Business School.

Andrew Epstein on Doing What is Best for Your Family and Future

In Chapter 23 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, charter school CFO Andrew Epstein answers "What Steps are You Taking to Do What is Best for Your Family and Your Future?"  Epstein shares the struggle of finding a balance between aspiring more in his career to provide more for his family and managing time at work to be present at home.  He shares how he asks for help as he continues to seek that equilibrium. 

Andrew Epstein is CFO of the Ascend Learning Charter School Network.  Previously, Epstein was a finance executive at Democracy Prep Public Schools and an operations executive at Universal Music Group's Island Def Jam Records.  He is a former Teach for America corps member and middle-school science teacher.  He holds a BA from the University of Michigan and an MBA from Columbia Business School.

Kyung B. Yoon on the Parenting Transition of Sending Kids Off to College

In Chapter 6 of 17 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, non-profit executive Kyung B. Yoon answers "How Are You and Your Husband Managing the Transition of Sending Your Kids Off to College?"  Yoon shares her experience sending her oldest teenage son off to college.  She discusses how the process has informed how she and her husband are preparing to send their youngest son to college and readying for the empty nest that will result when they both will be gone. 

Kyung B. Yoon is the executive director of the Korean American Community Foundation (KACF) in New York City.  An award-winning journalist and documentary film producer, Yoon earned an MA in International Relations from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History and Political Science at Wellesley College.

Kyung B. Yoon on Career Advice for Gen Y Women Professionals

In Chapter 7 of 17 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, non-profit executive Kyung B. Yoon answers "How Are Your Personal Experiences Shaping Your Professional Aspirations?"  As a Wellesley student, Yoon remembers wanting to have it all.  Experience teaches her you can have it all but not have it all at the same time.  She advises young Gen Y female professionals to invest in careers early to gain educational credentials and work experience to provide negotiating and bargaining leverage later in life and career. 

Kyung B. Yoon is the executive director of the Korean American Community Foundation (KACF) in New York City.  An award-winning journalist and documentary film producer, Yoon earned an MA in International Relations from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History and Political Science at Wellesley College.

Kyung B. Yoon on How Peer Advice Decreases Feelings of Isolation

In Chapter 10 of 17 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, non-profit executive Kyung B. Yoon answers "At This Moment in Your Life, Where Are You Seeking Advice and Coaching?"  Yoon talks about feeling isolated and how reaching out to peers - in her case other non-profit directors - has helped her overcome that feeling.  The resulting conversations help her feel less alone and provide useful instruction on improving her non-profit management skills. 

Kyung B. Yoon is the executive director of the Korean American Community Foundation (KACF) in New York City.  An award-winning journalist and documentary film producer, Yoon earned an MA in International Relations from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History and Political Science at Wellesley College.

Kyung B. Yoon on Learning to Care for Your Parents as They Get Older

In Chapter 15 of 17 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, non-profit executive Kyung B. Yoon answers "What Is Your Approach to Manage Long Distance Family Relationships?"  Yoon notes how her parents have relocated back to Korea where they engage with church and social life, live independently and remain healthy.  Yoon and her two siblings, all of whom live in the United States, start a conversation with her parents on how to manage long distances when caring for them as they get older. 

Kyung B. Yoon is the executive director of the Korean American Community Foundation (KACF) in New York City.  An award-winning journalist and documentary film producer, Yoon earned an MA in International Relations from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History and Political Science at Wellesley College.

Kyung B. Yoon on How Family Relationships Change With Age

In Chapter 16 of 17 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, non-profit executive Kyung B. Yoon answers "How Are Your Family Relationships Changing As You Get Older?"  Yoon notes how she has transitioned into a lead role for family gatherings and hosting family for the holidays.  For her it is taking on a parental or matriarchal role for extended family. 

Kyung B. Yoon is the executive director of the Korean American Community Foundation (KACF) in New York City.  An award-winning journalist and documentary film producer, Yoon earned an MA in International Relations from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History and Political Science at Wellesley College.

Kyung B. Yoon on the Key to Making Marriage Last a Lifetime

In Chapter 17 of 17 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, non-profit executive Kyung B. Yoon answers "What Have You Found to Be the Keys to Making a Marriage Last a Lifetime?"  While she says the word "supportive" is overused, Yoon notes it is the key to making a marriage work, what builds trust and confidence in marriage, what helps a marriage grow.  She shares an example how her husband cared for her when she was sick - a small yet tender and supportive action that reflects on what it means to be a loving partner. 

Kyung B. Yoon is the executive director of the Korean American Community Foundation (KACF) in New York City.  An award-winning journalist and documentary film producer, Yoon earned an MA in International Relations from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History and Political Science at Wellesley College.

Jullien Gordon on How a Hard Work Lifestyle Can Help or Hinder a Family

In Chapter 1 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?"  Growing up with two busy working parents, an anesthesiologist and an oral surgeon, Gordon sees the downside of working a lot, namely having parents miss important events.  Conversely, he watches his 86-year old Godmother keep a family together by employing family at her Carmela and Family Bar-B-Q restaurants in Hayward, California.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: What childhood experiences have been most fundamental in shaping who you are today?

Jullien Gordon: There’s a couple of them. One, I’m the son of two doctors. So I grew up the son of an anesthesiologist and an oral surgeon, and I saw the way my parents worked. They woke up at the crack of dawn, and even on weekends they’d be on call, and so they had to miss some very important events in my life as a child. On the other side, I saw my godmother who—her name is Carmen Kelly and she has a barbecue restaurant in Hayward, California called Carmen & Family Bar-B-Q. And even at the age of 86 today, she still works six days a week. And that restaurant has employed the entire family, and it’s even expanded to three restaurants, run by the two sons. And so, I’ve seen this way of entrepreneurship helping a family stay together as opposed to a career keeping a family apart, and I think that’s a tension that a lot of people deal with growing up. As I think about their careers and think about how their parents manage their careers, how much their dad and mom had to travel, what kind of events they missed. I saw two different models, I didn’t just see one way of doing it.

Erik Michielsen: And how has that reform your own approach?

Jullien Gordon: Well, obviously, I’m an entrepreneur today and I’m trying to think about my life, not just my career, my life, from a lifestyle-design standpoint. So how can I find my unique balance between my career, my family, myself, and my community, and really that’s really been the focus. It hasn’t just been how can I maximize my career and make the most income. I’m not playing a game of income maximization. I’m playing a game of satisfaction maximization. And so it requires me to find my unique balance and designing my life according to that.

Jullien Gordon on How Family Relationships Change With Age

In Chapter 3 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "How Are Your Family Relationships Changing As You Get Older?"  Getting married in July marks a huge milestone in Gordon's life.  Additionally, Gordon turns his attention to thinking how he will care for his aging parents from a distance and what role he will assume in that relationship.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: How are your family relationships changing as you get older?

Jullien Gordon: First and foremost, I got married. I got married in July, so that’s been exciting this year. And of course, as you get older you start looking at your parents as opposed to adult to kid, you start looking at them eye to eye and you’re able to have different kinds of conversations than you were able to have when you lived in their household, or even when you were in college and not as independent.

I find myself having to think about how I’m going to take my—take care of my parents, especially as my mom gets older, or just trying to take on that responsibility, understanding what my role is in that relationship. We are—she’s in California, I’m in New York, and just trying to figure out how do I create my life as I build my family, but still support my mother in her—I don’t wanna call it aging, but as her life continues, how do I support and be a good son from a distance, if I don’t happen to move back to California, so that’s been challenging, thinking about that, ‘cause here I am, a newly wedded husband and I have my wife to take care of, we don’t have kids yet, but at the same time, I feel like I’m starting to have to think about how I’m gonna take care of my parents, and so that’s an interesting dynamic, and I didn’t picture it being that way as I was growing up. You know, your parents take care of themselves and then you start taking care of your family, as your family takes care of its kids and it goes that way, but… So I’m finding some interesting dynamics as I explore being a son and being a husband.

Jullien Gordon on How Getting Married Changes Your Life

In Chapter 4 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "How Has Married Life Been Different Than You Expected It Would Be?"  Gordon lives with his now wife two years before getting married and sees the wedding as an affirmation of that love.  By making communication a priority, Gordon improves his listening, compassion, and understanding.  This helps him grow into the relationship and be better able to manage challenges that arise in a marriage.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: How has married life been different than you expected it would be?

Jullien Gordon: Oh, man. Well, we lived together for about two years before we got married. So not much changed. We were—we see our wedding as an affirmation of what already existed. It was just a celebration of what already was. But I do find myself being a better listener. You know, there’s no exit strategy. No exit strategy anymore. There’s—you know, you could always play that card when you’re just dating, and so now that you’re quote-unquote: locked in the room together, you have to figure out how to make it happen.

And so what I found is that my listening, my compassion, and my understanding has increased, because I wanna work it out. I don’t wanna be sharing space with someone who I’m gonna constantly butt heads with and so I have to ask myself, how can I change? How can I grow? How can I evolve? In order to meet this person halfway or even more than halfway, if necessary. So that’s been the challenge.

It’s been a great source of growth for me. I think fatherhood, whenever that comes, will also be another great source of growth. But we’re also both entrepreneurs, so we both work from home. I travel pretty heavily but, you know, it’s the same boundaries with starting a business with a friend. It’s like where is the boundary? When does work end? If you both have home offices, when does work end? And when are you able to have the relationship? And just because two people are in the house, does that mean that we can go knocking on each other’s door and give each other a hug in the middle of the day? Or am I at work, right? So finding those boundaries and those lines has been a little challenging and we’re trying to get clearer and clearer on what they are.

We’re also trying to figure out what rituals are gonna support and sustain our marriage. We’re looking for a spiritual community because we know that that’s gonna be helpful to us growing together, as opposed to growing apart. And one ritual that we do do is we try to go to a new restaurant every week and that’s where we can just have each other time and be present. We’re glad that our partnership has come before parenthood because sometimes it happens in the other order and it can be more difficult, and we’re still trying to wrestle with where does the partner—our partnership fit in the context of our professional lives, and what we’re trying to grow as we manifest our purposes in the world. What comes first? In what order? And to what degree? We’re still trying to work those things out. So we haven’t figured them out, but they’re conversations that we’re having.

Jullien Gordon on What Marriage Teaches About Teamwork

In Chapter 5 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "What Has Marriage Taught You About Teamwork?"  Gordon learns that communication and finance are two top challenges in a marriage relationship and makes it a priority to team with his wife addressing these key issues.  He learns there is a time and place for these conversations.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: What has marriage taught you about teamwork?

Jullien Gordon: When you ask people about relationships, the two things that come up are communication and finance, in terms of the most difficult challenges in a relationship. In regards to communication, I’ve had to become a better listener. And a better question asker, which is what I am and who I am, to really try to get at the core of what’s the issue, otherwise, issues are gonna continue to come up, if you don’t address the root. And so I’ve been more diligent about trying to get at the root of situations because this is the person I’m gonna live my entire life with. And the only way to work through that is with communication. Now, there also is-- are times where you have to know when is the best time to communicate, just because I wanna answer right now doesn’t mean that she is ready to talk and vice versa. And so that’s been core. And then the financial side is really getting clear about what’s enough and what it’s gonna take to sustain the partnership from the financial standpoint. And how do both people contribute.

In a lot of ways it is like a business, it is like a business partnership, and with the exception of the unconditional love. I think some business partners can work together without it necessarily being unconditional love, but—I’ll be honest, we have room to be a better team, I mean we are the Gordons now. We got our jerseys. We got our jerseys and-- but we’re also like the Lakers, you know? We have great players on our team and we’re trying to figure out how to work together to actually move toward something amazing. And you saw it with the Miami Heat as well, we’re Lebron James fans so. You see it with any team that’s coming together, even when there are stars on the team, it takes time.

And we see the hopefully 60, 70 years ahead of us as a time to constantly grow closer and closer and closer together. We saw our marriage as an opportunity where we felt close enough to say we’re committed to this same path together. And I think and I hope that every day is just gonna bring us closer and closer and closer together. The other day she asked me, “do you really know who I am?” And I had to say no. I don’t. But I hope that through this journey together, I constantly get to know more and more of who you are.

We made a choice out of—with uncertainty. And almost every major decision that we have in our lives, whether it’s a new partnership, from a team-standpoint. Whether it’s choosing your spiritual source, or your career, some of the biggest choices in our lives or all of the biggest choices in our lives are filled with uncertainty. And so knowing that going in, knowing that nobody on the team knows the right answer, but together, you can get to the best answer for us. I like to use us. “Us” is a third entity, because there’s the individual, there’s your teammate, and then there’s “us”. And it’s helpful to talk about “us” as a third entity in the relationship, because what’s best for one individual and what’s best for the other individual may not be what’s best for “us”. And so you have to always put “us” at the forefront when you are on a team.

Jullien Gordon on Finding a Spiritual Community

In Chapter 6 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "At This Moment in Your Life, Where Are You Seeking Advice and Coaching?"  Gordon talks about finding a spiritual community after relocating from the West Coast to the East Coast.  He details why that is important to his well-being and what he and his wife are doing to fill that void short-term - watching Agape Sunday services online - as they look for the longer-term connection.  To complement this resource, Gordon invests in his marriage, daily journaling and weekly meetings with his coach.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: At this moment in your life, where are you seeking advice and coaching?

Jullien Gordon: That’s a good question. I’ve had a very difficult time finding a spiritual community in New York in the way that I found it in California, both in Oakland and in L.A.

Erik Michielsen: What have been the challenges in finding that spiritual community in New York versus what you’ve found in Oakland and in Los Angeles?

Jullien Gordon: My spirit is at my core. And it is the reason I’m here and the more connected I am with that source of energy, the more powerful I move through the world. I mean there’s different types of energy, there’s your spiritual energy, there’s your emotional energy, there is your mental energy, and your physical energy. And for me, my spiritual energy is definitely at my core. We had initially found a community, that community—I like to say transcended and kind of evaporated, and so we are in search now. Currently we watch Agape Live on Sundays which is—Agape is a spiritual community in Los Angeles, California, and we watch that service through live stream at noon, Eastern Standard Time. And so that’s been our way of connecting, but if we could have it here in person, we believe that that would be more powerful for our growth and development. I do have a coach who I meet with about every two weeks who supports me, and holds space for me and challenges me and holds me accountable. So that’s been a powerful space for me and I invest in that. Outside of that, it’s been just a lot of deep introspection in terms of journaling on a regular basis. I call the first 30 minutes of my day first period and I use that space to meditate, to journal, to reflect, to read, and so my books and my own journaling and my own writings have been kind of my space of coaching and analysis. But I wish I could have a community of people who have a similar vision as me that I could meet regularly to work through some of the challenges that I’m having as an entrepreneur, as a man, as a husband, as a son. That would be a very healthy space for me, but I haven’t been able to find it yet, so it’s been a solo journey—or with the exception of my wife, she’s been my greatest source of feedback and accountability and safety, and so I wouldn’t—and I’ll call her my coach in a lot of ways.

Jullien Gordon on Why to Set New Year's Intentions and Not Goals

In Chapter 8 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "How Are You Helping Others Plan, Commit to, and Achieve New Year's Goals?"  Gordon shares how he helps people set their intentions by putting out his annual "New Year Guide."  He focuses not on the outcome or goal but the intention or the underlying initiative behind that goal or outcome.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: How are you helping others plan, commit to, and achieve New Year’s Resolution goals?

Jullien Gordon: So as you know, every year I put out the New Year Guide which is a tool to help people set their intentions. I have shifted my beliefs in a lot of ways from setting goals to really setting intentions. And the difference is that with a goal, a goal is usually connected to some sort of outcome. And while it’s okay to have a desired outcome, an intention is more about what’s behind the desired outcome. So for instance, a lot of people will set weight loss goals this year. “I wanna lose 30 pounds.” That’s the goal, right? And that’s connected to a certain outcome. If they don’t achieve that outcome, they feel that they failed.

Whereas an intention is I wanna be healthier. And one of the goals connected to being healthier may be to lose 30 pounds. And so I’m focused on helping people get clear on their intention, and then also knowing that when you do have a desired outcome that we don’t always control the outcomes as human beings. I can do everything that Shaun T tells me to do and P90X and still not get a body that looks like his, right? But if I’m connected to the outcome then I feel like I failed. But what I can control, the only thing that’s in our control is our effort. What I can tell Shaun T is that I showed up every single day for 90 days. And I did what I was supposed to. And that may not have gotten me to that kind of physique, but it may have gotten me somewhere along the direction of where I ultimately wanted to be.

And so, one, getting clear on the distinction between goals and intentions, and really focusing on intentions and making sure the intention is right which is your why behind the goal, and then also being clear about the distinction between effort and outcome and knowing that you only have full control over the effort, we don’t have full control over the outcome. And when you start with your why and make sure that the why is big enough, you know, Viktor Frankl says a man who knows his why can bear almost any how. And what I found is that when I’m clear on my intention or my why behind something, the how tends to manifest itself. When I look back at my goals from last year, I accomplished a lot of them in ways that I didn’t even anticipate it. They happen in their own way. But that’s because the intention was strong and they manifested themselves, they didn’t manifest themselves the way I thought they would but they manifested themselves nonetheless. And so really making those distinctions clear.

Jullien Gordon on Why Living a Fulfilled Life Starts With Being Yourself

In Chapter 9 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "How Are Your Personal Experiences Shaping Your Professional Aspirations?"  For Gordon, it comes down to lifestyle design and in this, personal and professional are the same thing.  Gordon notes that at the end of the day your life is integrated and your behaviors need to be aligned to create conistent behaviors that support that.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: How are your personal experiences shaping your professional aspirations?

Jullien Gordon: There’s no division between who I am and what I do, they are very linked. And so this is about lifestyle design for me, and my career is part of my life, there’s four domains of my life which are myself, my family, my career, and my community. So who I am is actually informing everything that I do, and I think that when we move through life in that way, we just feel more integrated and we feel more satisfied.

The way I think about it is that oftentimes we’re moving through life and there’s five different versions of ourselves. There’s who you really are, there’s who we think we are, there’s who we want to be, there’s who others think we are, and there’s what others need us to be. And to the extent that those five different versions of ourselves are spread out and they aren’t one, is where we find that we’re unfulfilled. Those are where leaks occur in our happiness and our joy. And to the extent that those things can be aligned, and you don’t feel like you have to be someone else—somebody else for somebody else, and that who you are becoming and who you are, are actually one, I find that that’s where I feel most alive and most fulfilled.

So, again, who I am informs what I do and so I don’t see a separation. There’s no separation between our personal and professional lives. If there was, where would it be? At our front door? At the driveway? At the parking lot? At our desk? There’s no line. It’s helpful to talk about them separately sometimes, but at the end of the day, our life is integrated, it’s one thing, it’s not these different compartments. If your day at work sucks then that’s gonna filter into your “personal life.” If your personal life is sucking, that’s gonna filter into your professional life. So there’s no distinction for me between the two. They’re all one for me.

Jullien Gordon: Career Planning Advice for Millennial Professionals

In Chapter 17 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon "What Steps Have You Found Most Effective to Help Young Professionals Create Career Plans?"  When working with younger professionals - Gen Y and Millennials - on career planning, Gordon starts with a process to help clients get clear on life and career goals.  He lays out his 4-step process to create a dream life, attract a dream career, build a dream team and land your dream job and walks through why and how to do this.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: What steps have you found most effective to help young professionals create career plans?

Jullien Gordon: Good question. So whenever I’m talking to a young professional to help them think about their career plan, I like to break it down into four different steps. And the four steps are, one, creating your dream life. Next is attracting your dream career. Then building your dream team. Then landing your dream job. And of course the acronym for “dream” means to have your desired relationships employment and money. So it’s really about your life design, and the reason I start with creating your dream life first is because your life is bigger than your career, a lot of times people allow their career to define who they are, when in fact who we are should define what we do.

And so I start with your life first. What is your vision for your life? And then let’s find a career path that actually allows you to have the life that you want. And so we start with creating your dream life and that’s a visioning process, thinking about your perfect average day, or your perfect average week, and what you want your desired relationships to look like, and your relationships not just being with your significant other or your kids but your spiritual source, your parents, your friends, your colleagues, what do you want those relationships to look like? What do you want your employment to look like? How do you want to create value? What problems do you want to solve? How do you want to use your passion on a daily basis? And then money, what is enough? And do you have enough? And really getting clear on what that is.

And then from there, attracting your dream career is all about your professional and personal branding, that’s your résumé, your cover letter, your web presence, and your business cards, the way you network, et cetera. Building your dream team means of course your networks up, down, across and out. So not just—a lot of people have strong networks across in terms of their Facebook friends, but if you look in their cellphone, 95% of the people are in their age group, I found that the most powerful form of networking is networking up with other professionals, with peers, with mentors, with leaders in the community, et cetera. Those are the people who are on the other side of the door that you’re trying to get into. Your peers can get you to the door, but you want to know who’s on the other side of the door who – or who has the key.

And then of course, finally, landing your dream job is all about the interview process, and nailing your first 90 days at whatever new organization that you’re at. So that’s how I like to help people think about their career journey.

Lulu Chen on How Personal Priorities Change With Age

In Chapter 1 of 16 in her 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, art director Lulu Chen answers "How Are Your Personal Priorities Changing With Age?"  Chen notes how she has learned not always to be a people pleaser and to let go of guilt of not always helping others and put herself first sometimes.  By taking care of herself she is able to be more helpful to friends and family. 

Lulu Chen is a photo art director working in retail e-commerce in New York City.  Previously, Chen worked as a freelance stylist for leading fashion catalogs and magazines.  She earned a BFA in design and art history from the University of Michigan.

Transcript: 

Erik Michielsen: How are your personal priorities changing with age?

Lulu Chen: I definitely try to strive for a better work/life balance. And as I get older I prioritize my personal—my own needs more than everyone else’s.

Erik Michielsen: For example?

Lulu Chen: I was always a people pleaser and I always wanted to make everybody else happy, and I worked really hard, but sometimes, you know, you just keep going and you don’t actually step back and think about yourself. You’re just too busy accomplishing all the tasks or all the roles that you’re supposed to play, or just, you know, doing the right thing, or you just get busy, and you forget to think about yourself sometimes.

Erik Michielsen: What approach have you taken to create that time for yourself?

Lulu Chen: Well, I’ve learned how to say “no,” to every event, or any events that I don’t want to attend or can’t attend, or, you know, I’ve let go of a lot of guilt, you know. And I realize I’m putting my own mask on first, you know, like on the airplane, how they tell you, “You can’t really help anyone else if you can’t help yourself first.”

Erik Michielsen: Does that also involve getting more comfortable being in a quiet place?

Lulu Chen: Oh, literally and figuratively? Both? Yeah. I think you have to be more comfortable with yourself. I think maybe you kind of settle down as you get older too, and you’re not going out every night, or, you know, definitely in my 20s, I think I worked every day and probably went out a lot, you know, whether it be to see friends, or industry events, or just parties in general, you know. And I definitely think now I take more time for myself, and I try to carve out more time with close friends, family, and my boyfriend.