Why We Teach What We Need to Learn the Most - Michael Margolis

In Chapter 6 of 13 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, storyteller and entrepreneur Michael Margolis learns to teach what we need to learn the most. He complements this with another aphorism, "We create the drama we seek." He notes how life circumstances, childhood experiences and studies are highly relevant to future choices. Margolis is the founder and president of Get Storied (http://www.getstoried.com), an education and publishing platform dedicated to teaching the world how to think in narrative. As a consultant, educator and writer he uses storytelling to create more effective branding, innovation and culture change. Margolis earned a B.A. in Cultural Anthropology from Tufts University.

How to Raise Nutritional Awareness Using Games and Contests - Cathy Erway

In Chapter 18 of 19 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, author, food writer, and rooftop gardener Cathy Erway shares how she uses contests and games to raise nutritional awareness on her blog "Lunch at Six Points" Using games such as "Name That Plant" not only educate but make learning about foods more fun. Erway is the author of "The Art of Eating In: How I learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove." She writes two blogs, "Not Eating Out in New York" (http://www.noteatingoutinny.com ) and "Lunch at Six Point" (http://www.lunchatsixpoint.com ). Erway earned her B.A. in Creative Writing from Emerson College.

How to Create Affordable Small Business Healthy Lunch Programs - Cathy Erway

In Chapter 16 of 19 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, author, food writer, and home cook Cathy Erway shares ideas on how small businesses can create affordable healthy, home cooked lunch programs. While large companies have resources to provide sophisticated healthy eating cafeteria environments, smaller companies often lack resources to do so. Erway suggests hiring home cooks to prepare daily meals and, when not cooking, help the company in other ways. Erway is the author of "The Art of Eating In: How I learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove." She writes two blogs, "Not Eating Out in New York" (http://www.noteatingoutinny.com ) and "Lunch at Six Point" (http://www.lunchatsixpoint.com ). Erway earned her B.A. in Creative Writing from Emerson College.

How Home Cooked Fresh Food Lunch Programs Benefit Companies - Cathy Erway

In Chapter 15 of 19 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, author, food writer, and rooftop gardener Cathy Erway shares how she is reinventing company lunch programs. Calling it "working class lunch", Erway grows her food and becomes the in-house company chef, serving inexpensive, healthy food to the team daily. She channels her inner "Chinese Mother" into providing hearty food in a communal setting. Erway is the author of "The Art of Eating In: How I learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove." She writes two blogs, "Not Eating Out in New York" (http://www.noteatingoutinny.com ) and "Lunch at Six Point" (http://www.lunchatsixpoint.com ). Erway earned her B.A. in Creative Writing from Emerson College.

How Community Garden Programs Transform Corporate Culture - Cathy Erway

In Chapter 14 of 19 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, author, food writer, and rooftop gardener Cathy Erway shares how community offer potential to not only transform neighborhoods but also corporate cultures. The time and care invested in these programs offers individual and team-based rewards that improve lifestyle and experience. Erway suggests replacing pool tables and snack machines with community garden plots in open spaces for workers to farm. Gardening offers a team-building experience Erway is the author of "The Art of Eating In: How I learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove." She writes two blogs, "Not Eating Out in New York" (http://www.noteatingoutinny.com ) and "Lunch at Six Point" (http://www.lunchatsixpoint.com ). Erway earned her B.A. in Creative Writing from Emerson College.

How Growing a Home Garden Builds a Stronger Family - Cathy Erway

In Chapter 10 of 19 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, author and food writer Cathy Erway shares how immersing herself in gardening is connecting her to older generations and the stories around those passions. Erway always saw gardening as a hobby until she planted, grew, and harvested her own. Erway is the author of "The Art of Eating In: How I learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove." She writes two blogs, "Not Eating Out in New York" (http://www.noteatingoutinny.com ) and "Lunch at Six Point" (http://www.lunchatsixpoint.com ). Erway earned her B.A. in Creative Writing from Emerson College.

Why to Plant a Garden and Grow Your Own Food - Cathy Erway

In Chapter 9 of 19 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with Erik Michielsen, author and food writer Cathy Erway shares what she has learned about planting and growing a rooftop garden in Brooklyn. Erway, who writes the "Not Eating Out in New York" blog, turns to gardening after two years on other non-restaurant food experiences. She learns food science and farming while also understanding home garden implications for healthier eating and budget-friendly living. Erway is the author of "The Art of Eating In: How I learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove." She writes two blogs, "Not Eating Out in New York" (http://www.noteatingoutinny.com ) and "Lunch at Six Point" (http://www.lunchatsixpoint.com ). Erway earned her B.A. in Creative Writing from Emerson College.

What is the Best Way to Help a Friend With Cancer - Andrew Epstein

In Chapter 19 of 19 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, charter school executive Andrew Epstein shares advice on how to help a friend with cancer. When someone is sick, Andy makes sure to call or visit friends often. He underscores the importance of reaching out regularly through difficult times. Epstein learns this supporting his father-in-law through an extended illness. Epstein is currently Senior Director for Finance at Democracy Prep Public Schools in New York City. Previously, he was a finance executive at Universal Music Group's Island Def Jam Records and, previous to that, a schoolteacher in the Teach for America Corps program. He holds a BA from the University of Michigan and an MBA from Columbia Business School.

How to Support Your Spouse During Period of Extended Family Illness - Andrew Epstein

In Chapter 18 of 19 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, husband and charter school executive Andrew Epstein shares advice on how to best support a spouse during a period of extended family illness. Presence matters most, so he begins by prioritizing family first. He finds combining strength with an occasional joke to keep people laughing to be a good mix through the experience. Epstein is currently Senior Director for Finance at Democracy Prep Public Schools in New York City. Previously, he was a finance executive at Universal Music Group's Island Def Jam Records and, previous to that, a schoolteacher in the Teach for America Corps program. He holds a BA from the University of Michigan and an MBA from Columbia Business School.

How Teaching Social and Emotional Health Improves Education - Louise Davis Langheier

In Chapter 5 of 9 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, non-profit founder and executive Louise Davis Langheier shares her view that education is about empowering individuals to succeed in life and society. She notes this empowerment comes from a confluence of academic skills and social and emotional health development. Langheier finds satisfaction seeing momentum continue on this blended learning perspective, but notes there is much work to be done to make it standard practice. Langheier is founder and CEO of Peer Health Exchange (http://www.peerhealthexchange.com ), a non-profit that trains college students to teach health education in public high schools. She graduated Yale University with a B.A. in History and serves on the board of directors of Dwight Hall at Yale, the center for public service and social justice.

What Role Does Social Justice Play in Health Education - Louise Davis Langheier

In Chapter 2 of 9 in her 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, non-profit founder and executive Louise Davis Langheier highlights the role of social justice in her work providing health education to high school students. She notes how social justice ensures all people have the same opportunities to succeed and how empowering individuals to make their own decisions and pursue their own dreams enables it. Langheier is founder and CEO of Peer Health Exchange (http://www.peerhealthexchange.com ), a non-profit that trains college students to teach health education in public high schools. She graduated Yale University with a B.A. in History and serves on the board of directors of Dwight Hall at Yale, the center for public service and social justice.

What Creates Enduring Friendships - Doug Jaeger

In Chapter 11 of 12 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, designer Doug Jaeger shares how friendships differ from acquaintances and business relationships. He notes business relationships are by nature transactional and results-driven. Sometimes these become friendships but Jaeger notes it is not required. He sees friends not as a shoulder to cry on; rather, he sees friends as people with whom to share one's life and create happiness. They develop from shared experiences which become more enduring as the relational bonds and history grows. Jaeger is a partner at design firm JaegerSloan - http://jaegersloan.com/ - and is also president of the Art Director's Club - http://www.adcglobal.org/ . Previously he founded thehappycorp and has served in creative director leadership roles at TBWA/Chiat/Day and JWT. Jaeger holds a BFA in Computer Graphics and Art Media Studies from Syracuse University.

How to Turn Mistakes Into Motivational Learning Experiences - Doug Jaeger

In Chapter 9 of 12 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, designer Doug Jaeger shares how exploring his failures and mistakes, especially those not so obvious at the time, has helped him change his behavior and live better. Identifying less obvious failures - what Jaeger terms undercurrents in behavior - often translates into quick and lasting positive changes that increase wellbeing. Jaeger is a partner at design firm JaegerSloan - http://jaegersloan.com/ - and is also president of the Art Director's Club - http://www.adcglobal.org/ . Previously he founded thehappycorp and has served in creative director leadership roles at TBWA/Chiat/Day and JWT. Jaeger holds a BFA in Computer Graphics and Art Media Studies from Syracuse University.

How to Find Mentors and Receive Support in Difficult Times - Doug Jaeger

In Chapter 6 of 12 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, designer Doug Jaeger talks about finding support from mentors and friends in difficult times. Jaeger shares approaches he has used through low times he experienced losing a parent and also a business. He finds mentor support to understand business challenges and not resist looking at both positive and negative sides to solving a particular problem. Ultimately this helps Jaeger identify what is truly important so he may address the problem or issue with greater clarity. Jaeger is a partner at design firm JaegerSloan - http://jaegersloan.com/ - and is also president of the Art Director's Club - http://www.adcglobal.org/ . Previously he founded thehappycorp and has served in creative director leadership roles at TBWA/Chiat/Day and JWT. Jaeger holds a BFA in Computer Graphics and Art Media Studies from Syracuse University.

Simon Sinek on Why Internet Friends Do Not Replace Human Relationships

In Chapter 20 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares why human, physical interaction creates deeper, more meaningful relationships than Internet communication. Sinek notes that sheer physicality limits the Internet and its communication tools - Facebook, Twitter, blogs - ability to develop lasting, trusted bonds. He finds the Internet great at three things: one, connecting people; two, finding and sharing information faster; and three, increasing transaction speed. The Internet does not however develop the human bonds and the associated trust, sharing, emotion and interaction that come with them.

Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: How has social media culture shifted your view on relationships?

Simon Sinek: There was a time not long ago, you know, where relationships meant something different than they mean now. There was a time where – for example – you know, that a desktop meant something horizontal, and today a desktop means something vertical, right? I mean, that’s how technology has changed the definition of language. Um, when you say desktop, people think computer. 

You know, they don’t think a desktop, with a blotter and folders and things, that we actually now have on computers as well. Technology has also changed the definitions of human relationships. A friend is not somebody who you check their status, you know, your network is not on LinkedIn, a conversation doesn’t happen on Twitter and a dialogue doesn’t happen on your blog, you know? 

There’s a human experience, you know this, is an conversation, you know, this – it has reactions and advancing ideas, and it’s not just people taking turns to speak, which is what happens online. The Internet is incredibly, fantastic and valuable for three things. One, for connecting people. Amazing, amazing, right? Connecting people … for access to information, brilliant, right? And sharing information – access and sharing information, and for speeding transactions, to increase the speed of transactions. 

And it’s the Internet that has allowed people to build small business, because you can increase the span of transactions, you can connect to more people, etcetera. Find people from your child hood, whatever, Wikipedia - all this stuff, wonderful, wonderful. But the Internet is not great at developing real deep human bonds, where deep, deep, mutual trust exists. And one of the reasons is simple, is human bonds are human, and they require this, human physical interaction. You have to be able to look someone in the eye before you’re willing to trust them, right? 

This is why the videoconference will never replace the business trip. Because you can’t get a good read on somebody over videoconference. And even the blogosphere, you know, who, who, talks about that the Internet solves all problems, every year they descend on Vegas for Blogworld. Why couldn’t they just have their convention online? Why couldn’t they just all turn on their webcams and have a convention? They can do that, you know? 

No, it’s because nothing beats human interaction. And the amount you learn and the connections you make and the relationships you build, physically, are not only more efficient but deeper. And the Internet has yet to find a way that can reproduce them. You know, if others can say that it can, I’m open to it, but human relationships are in fact human. Um, and so, you know let us use the Internet for all that it gives us, and all its value, but let us not believe that it can replace things that, that are hard to replace. 

Simon Sinek on Why to Differentiate Friends From Acquaintances

In Chapter 19 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares the importance of differentiating friends from acquaintances. Sinek compares acquaintances sharing common interests, for example Facebook friends, from actual friends. When discussing a mutual connection, Sinek has learned to ask sharper questions to differentiate between the two to receive better context on an introduction or relationship. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: Why is it important to differentiate between friendships and acquaintances? 

Simon Sinek: Oh, I went through this recently. So I realized recently that I use the word friend too loosely. “Yeah, I’m friends with him … yeah, yeah, he’s a friend of mine.” Right? And the reality is I call a lot of people friends who aren’t my friend. And you know, I have 2500 or 2300, who knows, “friends” on Facebook. They’re not my friends. [Erik laughs] They’re nice people, I like them, I think – if I met them, I don’t know I haven’t met most of them – but we clearly share common interests which is why we became friends on Facebook and that’s good, but they’re not my friends. 

My friends are people who, if I’m in a time of need they will be there for me no matter what. My friends are people who I can be weak around. My friends are people who I can cry around and they won’t think any less of me. My friends are the people who, when they need something, I help them because I want to, not because I think they want something from me, you know? My friends are people that I trust implicitly with all my secrets; who know everything about me and I’m just fine with that. 

And I don’t need them to sign confidentiality agreements no matter what I tell them, show them or share with them. Those are my friends, where the trust is deep and implicit, and those people are really few. And I realize, you know, that I think we use the term a little to loosely in society where friends are people that we have on Facebook, and um, we stopped using the word acquaintances. We used to use the word acquaintance much more … “yeah he’s an acquaintance of mine.” 

I haven’t referred to anybody as an acquaintance in years. Everybody’s a friend. And so I’ve actually started to temper now, you know, how I talk about it. People say, “Do you know him?” Like … “I’m friendly with him,” I’ll say, or “I’m developing a friendship with him,” or “I know him,” or, “we’ve met.” And I realize that the number of people who I truly want to call friends are actually a very small group, and that’s a good thing. The opposite is I hear people say to me, “Oh yeah, I’m friend with him,” and then you realize that they met once over coffee and there’s no friendship there, you know? 

I’ve had that happen where somebody goes “Oh I know him” and it happens to be somebody I know too and I go “Oh, da-da-da-da-duh” and they’re like, “oh, uh, no.” And you realize they were lying, or just, they were over using the word friend. Uh, so yeah I think friends are sacred, and it is dismissive or irresponsible of the value of those friendships to include massive amounts of people who don’t live on the same pedestal as your real friends.

Simon Sinek on How Friendships Differ from Work Relationships and Acquaintances

In Chapter 18 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek explains the difference between professional relationships, acquaintances, and friendships. What makes friendships hard to define, Sinek notes, is that the bond requires a mutual feeling, connection, and human experience. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: How do you discern between friendships, professional relationships and acquaintances?

Simon Sinek: Professional relationships are people I do business with, even if I really, really, like them and enjoy spending time with them. I … we all have personal, professional relationships – even ones we really like – that the day we stop doing business, we don’t really talk to them much anymore, you know? We still like them, it’s not that we don’t – it’s nothing bad happened it’s just we did business together. That was it. 

And I’ve had many of those; people who pretend that we’re developing friendships and they talk – and then we don’t do business and you never hear from them. Those are professional relationships. And you have good ones, you have bad ones, you have close ones you have distant ones, right? Then there are the acquaintances, who really are on the periphery, you know? “I’m acquainted with them … I’ve heard of them … I’ve met them, I’ve shaken their hand… “can’t tell you much about them, can’t tell you if you should or shouldn’t do business with them.” “They seem nice …” “I can make an introduction for you…” “I have a phone number, I know their email,” that’s an acquaintance. 

A friendship – and the reason it’s hard to define – is at the end of the day, a friendship is a feeling. You know, a friend is a human – a friendship is a human experience. It’s between two human beings. And you have, you have friendship when you both feel it. It’s not a para-social relationship, which is what celebrities experience, where we feel we know them. But that’s – a para-social relationship is when one party knows more about the other than they know about you. 

It’s when both people have the same feeling that there’s a real friendship. One person can’t have it – it’s like love. You know? You both have to be in it, otherwise one of you is down on your knee on the Jerry Springer show proposing and the other is like, “dude, no.” [Erik laughs] You know? It’s like you both need to feel it in order for it to be love. “But I love you.” But, no. “I don’t love you, how can you love me?” It’s gotta be mutual, it’s a feeling and that’s why it’s hard, because it requires two people at least.

Simon Sinek on What Parents' 40th Anniversary Teaches About Lasting Relationships

In Chapter 17 of 20 in his 2011 Capture Your Flag interview with host Erik Michielsen, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek shares what his parents, married 40 years, have taught him about building successful relationships. Sinek reflects on his college days and the anticipation he had for school breaks and family visits. Sinek notes valuable relationships require years investment, nursing and cultivation. Ultimately, relationships will save your life, both knowing you have that support in trying times and actually having the unquestionable support in trying times. Simon Sinek is a trained ethnographer who applies his curiosity around why people do what they do to teach leaders and companies how to inspire people. He is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". Sinek holds a BA degree in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: So speaking of longevity, your parents recently celebrated their 40th year anniversary.

Simon Sinek: Yes, they did.

Erik Michielsen: What have they taught you about building lasting relationships?

Simon Sinek: My parents asked me to say a few words and I didn’t prepare anything, and so there I had to say, you know, talk about forty years of marriage and I was like, “uh oh” … and so I told a story, and it was a true story. Which is, I never appreciated my parents’ marriage until I got to college. And I’m 18 years old, 18 years, I never, never appreciated it. And that was already 21 years of marriage or something, right? 

And what I started to learn when I got to college was during the holidays. There were people who made every effort not to go home, because they didn’t like their families, right? They would go to a friend’s house, or plan a vacation, but they did not want to go home. And I remember loving going to school – like when I was at home I loved leaving for school – but when I was in school I loved coming home. And it was then that I realized what I had, and this thing that I took for granted. And then you also take stock, my parents have been together for 40 years, the number of my friends whose parents are divorced is astronomical. 

And I … you start to realize that so many of my friends at college either had broken homes, or – and/or – even if their parents were together, they didn’t want to go home. So, you’re left with a very small percentage, and so, not taking these things for granted, you know? Valuable relationships, close relationships – and they don’t have to be marriages … friendships, they’re pretty damn important. And you can’t make them over night; they take years to get good. You know? A little bit like fine wine, and they require nursing, you gotta re-cork ‘em and you gotta turn ‘em. And we all know that relationships take work, and I got all that, but just to understand and acknowledge that those close relationships that we have will save your life. 

And I don’t just mean somebody who will risk their life for yours, although that may happen, but that in your time of need, it’s the knowledge that someone will be there for you that is more important than anything else. A friend is not somebody where it’s equal and reciprocal all the time. “Well I did three things for you, you have to do three things for me.” You could do a hundred things for somebody and they could do nothing for you, but for the fact that you walk around with the knowledge that the moment you need something they’ll be there without question, that’s not to be taken for granted.